You can enjoy a beer all night long.
Beer stains wash out.
You don't have to wine and dine beer.
A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.
When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
Beer is never late.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
Hangovers go away.
Beer labels come off without a fight.
When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.
Beer never has a headache.
After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
A beer goes down easy.
You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
You can share a beer with your friends.
You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
Beer is always wet.
Beer doesn't demand equality.
You can have a beer in public.
A beer doesn't care when you come.
A frigid beer is a good beer.
You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
You can't catch social diseases from a beer.
When you're interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.
A beer is always satisfying.
A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.
A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.
A beer does not come with in-laws.
No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.
To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice box.
All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.
Beer doesn't complain about farting.
The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.
You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.
Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.
Beer won't drive you to drink.
You can shoot a beer.
A beer chaser is easier to catch.
You don't need a license to live with a beer.
A tree is good enough for a beer.
Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.
Beer doesn't care how much you earn.
Beer and "ice" don't mix.
Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation--it goes along happily.
Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.
Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.
You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.
You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.
Beer won't leave hairs in your mouth.
You can Recap a Beer.
A beer will always be there when you get home.
Nobody cares just because you like beer that's 3 years old.
A beer won't complain if you make it spend the night in a wet spot.
You don't have to worry about a mess just because you're the first to open a particular beer.
Your friends won't laugh at you if you have a huge beer.
If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
There's SUPPOSED to be yeast in a beer.
When you pop a top off a beer, it won't call the cops.
You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a BEER.
After you have a Beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle.
A Beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.
You rarely (if ever) find Beer labels on the shower curtain rod.
Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
Beer looks the same in the morning.
Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.
Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.
Beer always listens and never argues.
Beer is never overweight.
Beer does tell You to loose the beerbelly.
Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
Beer doesn't need much closet space.
Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.
Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.
Beer doesn't live with it's mother.
A Beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburator" than a woman.
A Beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose"
If a Beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
A Beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.
A BEER won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store.
A BEER won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"
A BEER won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson".